The darkness chases me. My mind is awake; it is living in a second dimension than I. In my current living time, I see with my eyes, and it sees possibilities. Sometimes they are light, and other times they are dark. My mom, dad, my brother, and all who try to close in on my heart think they know me, but they don’t. I express myself in puzzle pieces to everyone who comes in contact with me. My demeanor, ambition, character, and all that scream me are tested, changed, improved, or collapsed every day.

In the light of day, in the noise of a crowd, I speak to others. I live, I commute, I walk upon the earth like everyone else. Yet in all that action, the governance of my life is abundant. This darkness, this demon, this fear, greed, and sickness crawl into my mind. It cues out everything. I answer on autopilot. I walk to classes, I play games, and I read books. I do all these things like a robot, and no one would know wiser, while my mind is fighting itself about how I didn’t do this, how I should be doing this, how scared I am of being poor, being disappointed, how I hate how I look, how I love it, how I want money, how I want to be alone, how I want love. My mind overloads as this demon-like vampire in hunger sinks its teeth deeper and deeper into me, and I fail as my life essence is reaped from my mortal core. Then it resets, and the darkness disappears as I try to do one thing, and the process goes on and on and on. I do beautifully in class, but I fail in another. I win a game, I lose another. Up, down, up, down, up, down, till it falls down.

Then it goes up. I’m back, but I feel the teeth of darkness waiting, as my past mistakes chase me. I try to run further into success. I face each as they come. One day I prevail or fail, I don’t know, but fear is my crutch and power.

Scary, smile…darkness.