Dear Thanksgiving Day Turkeys,

Every year you fine feathered friends die just so that millions of Americans can eat you at our dinner tables. In fact, I know that every year at least 270 million of you guys are killed just for one day, Thanksgiving. Some people don’t even take the time to cook you themselves and they just prefer to go out and eat at a fancy restaurant or a buffet.

Sometimes you guys get killed for no reason, too. A lot of people don’t really like turkey but it’s tradition to serve it so they do and much of your meat goes to waste. To the 46 million of you guys who are going to be consumed on Thanksgiving in America, I want to thank you for your sacrifice.

While doing my research to prepare this heartfelt note, I learned that an expert estimated that there were at least 10 million of you guys running wild in America at the time the Brits arrived from England. Even though you weren’t on the menu at the first Thanksgiving, Americans still choose to eat you guys. In fact, I found out that we eat 4 different breeds of you guys: the Rio Grande, the Merriam’s, the Osceola, the Eastern, and the Gould’s, but we like to eat wild turkeys the most.

Again, I just wanted to say, thank you for dying so that we may eat you. 

Sincerely,

Hosanna Baker